How to Properly Ask for A Raise

Chances are, if you do not have a background in HR (human resources) or haven’t been through the process many times over, you might be apprehensive or nervous about asking for a raise. Recently, I was faced with this exact dilemma. I knew I needed, as well as earned, a raise, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it. Thankfully, one of my closest friends is an HR consultant in Michigan, and she was more than happy to freely share her expertise with me so I could get over my fears.

However, if you do not have a close personal friend willing to help in this area, your fears may be holding you back. Here are some of the reasons why people do not ask for a raise, even when they know they deserve one:

• Fear rejection
• Fear of confrontation or conflict (even if it is constructive)
• Not knowing how to ask or what to say
• Fear of looking greedy or unappreciative
• Job security fears
• Social anxiety
• If you are a woman
• Low self-confidence
• Lack of knowledge surrounding your market value
• Or they don’t know how to approach the conversation

According to a LinkedIn survey, they discovered that, “Fear is the biggest factor for not asking: 32% of Americans say they are hesitant to ask for a raise because they don’t know how to approach the conversation, and 28% because they’re afraid of hearing no, while 22% say they are worried about their job security,”.

Sometimes, we might be looking not just to secure a salary increase or a promotion; we might also be in search of a lateral move, more flexibility, or something else that makes us feel valued, respected, or optimistic while working.

For example, I wasn’t actually looking for a raise; I was looking for more vacation/paid sick days. I recently received a raise, and I am already fortunate enough to be able to bring my sweet dog, my loyal furry companion, to work; she is our official “studio mate” and my “road dog” who helps to keep me calm in the hectic, traffic-filled, travel time to and from work.

My HR friend suggested that I should not ask for a raise but rather negotiate it. She also gave me some really great pointers, strategies, and phrases to use to position myself better in the negotiations.

How to properly negotiate a raise?

Let’s not forget the basics when negotiating a raise, such as researching salary data for your position, writing down your achievements, practicing the negotiation in front of a mirror with a friend or a family member, starting with a higher number than you are looking to receive, establish a firm timeline, be open to discuss optional benefits, know your worth, make sure to thank the person for their time and never apologize for asking for what you need.

Harvard Business Review shares the following four ways to negotiate a raise:

1. Understand the other party in the negotiation
2. Set your manager’s expectations early and often (do not surprise them!)
3. Prepare what you want and what you will offer
4. Manage the negotiation

Thankfully, my friend shared these pointers as well, and I had an amazing experience. In fact, my boss counter-offered a larger number of paid days off and added a sizeable bonus to the package as well. I was able to receive even more than what I asked for. And to think, had I let my fears rule my actions, I would have never got what I needed or deserved!

Another crucial aspect that often goes overlooked is timing. When you’re considering asking for a raise, it’s imperative to pick the right moment. Avoid times when your boss is particularly stressed, or the company is facing financial difficulties. Instead, aim for periods following your successful completion of a significant project or contribution or during performance review cycles when discussions about compensation are more natural and expected.

Additionally, I picked up another tip from my HR friend to leverage quantifiable achievements. It’s much easier to justify a raise when you can point out specific successes and their impacts on the company. For instance, if you helped boost sales by 20% or successfully managed a project that came in under budget, those are concrete achievements that strengthen your case. Prepare a portfolio of these accomplishments to present during your discussion.

It’s also helpful to practice emotional intelligence during the negotiation. Understand and acknowledge the perspective of your employer. For example, if budget constraints are a concern, be prepared to discuss other forms of compensation or benefits, such as professional development opportunities, flexible working arrangements, or stock options, demonstrating a willingness to collaborate and find mutually beneficial solutions.

Expert negotiators also recommend using open-ended questions during your discussion. Ask questions like, “What would we need to do to make this raise feasible?” This type of question opens the door for dialogue and shows that you are looking to find solutions together rather than issuing demands.

Lastly, remember follow-up is key. After the initial meeting, send a thank-you note or email expressing gratitude for the discussion. Summarize what was discussed and any agreed-upon next steps.

What not to say when asking for a raise

Okay, so maybe some of these might need no explanation or statement, but we’re going to make certain we are clear about all the essential details regarding this vital task. For instance, this should go without saying, but do not demand that you get a raise. Don’t threaten to quit if you don’t get what you want. Do not air out your dirty laundry in an effort to whine about how you need the raise. And whatever you do, do not bring up what other employees make as a reason for why you deserve one, too.

Also, avoid discussing your financial issues; it’s unprofessional and shifts the focus away from your performance and contributions. Steer clear of making emotional pleas or resorting to guilt-tripping your employer.

It’s also imperative not to claim you deserve more simply because you’ve been with the company for a lengthy period. Longevity alone isn’t a convincing argument without demonstrated growth and added value. Lastly, refrain from comparing your salary to industry averages without clear evidence of your higher productivity or unique skills that warrant the increase.

How to properly ask for a raise

In conclusion, by tackling fears head-on, preparing diligently, and approaching the conversation with both confidence and empathy, you can turn the daunting task of asking for a raise into a constructive and rewarding experience. Your value deserves recognition, and a thoughtful approach makes that recognition all the more likely.